Saturday, October 28, 2006
Listen Up and Pay Attention...when you read...
Ok, by now you’ve figured out a few things about me. I like to rant – a lot! I’ve dated online. I don’t like people who don’t have manners. And like you guys don’t get women, well, I just don’t understand men – and I don’t pretend to! With that said, here’s more food for thought….
When it comes to online dating, all of these services ask you to fill out a profile. They ask you a bunch of questions about yourself and who you’re looking for. Why do they ask you who you’re looking for? Two reasons: (1) so in their computer system, they can try to match you with someone they think you’ll get along with based on the information you fill out; and (2) so that others can match themselves to you based on what you’ve filled out.
Now, it’s the second reason that really bothers me the most when it comes to most men who date online. Why, you ask? Because, as with most everything else in life, you men just don’t pay attention to what we women have written or said. (It’s the same thing with asking directions – you just can’t seem to do it! What’s up with that?!) All you do is see a pretty face and you immediately respond. Even if the headline screams “Single Black Christian Female, 34, seeks Single Black Christian Male, 32-39” (by the way, not me, just an example), you guys – no matter who you are – if the photo is pretty, will respond – if you’re 22, 50, Latino, Jewish, Protestant, Asian, whatever! You just don’t bother to take into account what we’ve written or who we feel our perfect match is. And then you get defensive if/when we don’t respond by “stalking” us…constantly IM-ing us while we’re online or sending us unwanted emails or “teases”.
Well, I’m here to tell you once and for all – you’re not the shiznit that you think you are! And if you think you’re going to get our attention by annoying us to death, you’re not. Most of us know what we want and that’s why we’ve posted it. If you’re that dumb that you don’t take the time to read it, that’s your own damn fault, not ours. So take a moment, you’ve paid the membership dues to get a date, read what we’ve written. You might actually find the person you’re looking for, if you just pay a little attention.
And one last word of advice, this goes not just for online, but also when you’re in the relationship too. Pay attention – it goes a long way.
When it comes to online dating, all of these services ask you to fill out a profile. They ask you a bunch of questions about yourself and who you’re looking for. Why do they ask you who you’re looking for? Two reasons: (1) so in their computer system, they can try to match you with someone they think you’ll get along with based on the information you fill out; and (2) so that others can match themselves to you based on what you’ve filled out.
Now, it’s the second reason that really bothers me the most when it comes to most men who date online. Why, you ask? Because, as with most everything else in life, you men just don’t pay attention to what we women have written or said. (It’s the same thing with asking directions – you just can’t seem to do it! What’s up with that?!) All you do is see a pretty face and you immediately respond. Even if the headline screams “Single Black Christian Female, 34, seeks Single Black Christian Male, 32-39” (by the way, not me, just an example), you guys – no matter who you are – if the photo is pretty, will respond – if you’re 22, 50, Latino, Jewish, Protestant, Asian, whatever! You just don’t bother to take into account what we’ve written or who we feel our perfect match is. And then you get defensive if/when we don’t respond by “stalking” us…constantly IM-ing us while we’re online or sending us unwanted emails or “teases”.
Well, I’m here to tell you once and for all – you’re not the shiznit that you think you are! And if you think you’re going to get our attention by annoying us to death, you’re not. Most of us know what we want and that’s why we’ve posted it. If you’re that dumb that you don’t take the time to read it, that’s your own damn fault, not ours. So take a moment, you’ve paid the membership dues to get a date, read what we’ve written. You might actually find the person you’re looking for, if you just pay a little attention.
And one last word of advice, this goes not just for online, but also when you’re in the relationship too. Pay attention – it goes a long way.
